Taylor Swift's Mirrorball

One of my most listened to songs and one of the poems I have wished to ever be able to write is “Mirrorball” by Taylor Swift.

This sixth track of “Folklore”, Swift’s eighth album, is truly a masterpiece, beautifully written, filled with metaphors, smartly put together, I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it is the best song ever to be quite honest, but the way it is so easy to relate to this song and feel it have some sort of connection with you and the millions of people who listened to it and enjoyed it, takes away the solitude and sorrow feelings you may have felt after thinking that you were the only one feeling a sort of way, towards yourself and people, as if you were not an individual really, just a reflector, drained after a long day of matching people’s energy, wondering how it feels like to have YOUR energy matched instead of always matching others’.

Before I start my little dive into this poem, it is most appropriate to let you read it first. You could listen to the song as well while, before or after reading the rest of the blog.

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break it's in a million pieces Hush When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you Hush I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in You are not like the regulars The masquerade revelers Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten Hush When no one is around, my dear You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you Hush I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you And they called off the circus Burned the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns I'm still on that tightrope I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me Because I'm a mirrorball I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself Tonight

As you may have guessed, “mirrorball” is a metaphor for what Taylor Swift feels like she is. Defined, a mirrorball would mean “a decoration consisting of a large ball covered in hundreds of tiny mirrors that hangs from the ceiling and turns to produce lighting effects”.

In this poem, Swift identifies herself as a broken object and speaks on behalf of the people who can relate to her story and self.

Broken into a “hundred” pieces and reassembled to create something, just like the mirrorball, she is the epitome and embodiment of every quote you have heard about broken things still being able to make something pretty.

She is the beautifully fragile result of what our past relationships, failures, heartbreaks, weaknesses and insecurities pushed us to be and shaped us into.

She is the result of those unstable relationships that made her question herself all the time, if she was good enough, if she was smart enough, pretty enough, if she was too sensitive or too harsh, always too much, always too less but never just perfect.

Her aspiration to be perfect for the people around her made it her sacred duty to mirror their actions, moods, ways of speaking, etc.

She is the friend who has many personalities, the one who curses with the people who find it cool to curse, the one who does not for the people who find it inappropriate, the one who thinks that it is fine to be a hopeless romantic, the one who does not believe in love at all, the one who is a cool girl with her boyfriend and checks out girls with him, the one who thinks that it is disrespectful to do so and that it deeply hurts etc.

She is a series of personalities, a series of multiple sides for a same person.

She does not do it out of fun, boredom or for the sake of change and discovering her own self, she does it for what seems to her an absolute necessity; to fit in, proving once again that us humans are social creatures that find being banned and excluded the biggest and most challenging fear and punishment one could ever get.

She is the girl (or boy) who, as silly as it seems, finds very useless to look pretty for anyone but the man she loves and finds intimate contact and liaison between the way she looked and her self-value, the prettier she was, the safer she was, from being left or cheated on.

She is the kid trying to cheer up his depressed mother; little does he know that she is depressed, that it is not his fault she is not in a good mood. Only he knew that it was his responsibility to make her happy, and if he failed, he did not deserve to happy as well.

She is the friend who makes silly jokes only to end up upsetting someone, without the intention to do so.

She is the lover who is in constant need for reassurance and attention.

She is the vicious circle, doomed pattern of a repetitive try that always ends up failing: Seeking attention in every possible way, mirroring the other side, getting neglected and mirroring the neglect once again, even harder and longer until she gaslights herself into thinking that the whole situation is not that bad and that she ought to move on.

She keeps trying so hard, even when tired, she will not give up her obsession with making her small circle love her forever, she will not let easily go of their happiness, and she will do anything to make everyone satisfied.

It is draining and it consumes her to her last bone, flesh and blood drop to think about how to make everything perfect for others. To know how people feel just from their footsteps, from a dry text message, a simple thumb to say okay, a missing U from thank “youuu”, a missing I from “Hiii”, dropping her hand for no reason, to think about how people see her, was she actually a “never needy” or an “ever needy”? Was she an “ever lovely jewel whose shine reflects” on other people or whose people’s shine reflects on her? (As a reference to “The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you” from All Too Well by Taylor Swift)

She is the one most uncomfortable, yet she beams of light for her surroundings.

She is the one who did not have it in herself to leave with grace (My Tears Ricochet by Swift) because she was afraid of what was out of her comfort zone.

She is the never naturally pretty girl who has to spend hours straightening her hair only to curl it later, to have that perfect curl instead of her naturally curly hair, she is the one who spends hours a week shaving or waxing until the last hair, plucking that thin hair in her eyebrows that no one would notice but her, applying lip stick just to wipe it to only keep the stain, doing the “no make up” make up.

She is the planner, the one who has to have it all figure out, the one who only goes by a plan, by a ruler, by anything that will give her any sort of control on this big scary world.

She is the person, who would love to hear that you are proud of them because they like their efforts acknowledged and recognised. “Effort” is the only thing that makes her stand out from the rest of other people, because she tends to think that everyone is naturally exceptional, everyone is extraordinary and gifted, she glorifies people and the idea of them, making it hard for her to think that she can compete with the rest without putting in extra effort, always more than the others, effort is what will take her from being invisible and left out to finally being noticed.

She is the person who is so focused on the potential of people rather than their realities, mainly because of the hope has within her for them to change.

She is the person who always understands. Who always waits.

She is the people pleaser who knows very well that it is impossible to please everyone.

She is the one who knows herself impossible to bear and thinks the idea of her is better than who she actually is and thinks of herself more loved when missed than when being with.

By mirroring you, she shows you every version of yourself, while she consumes her time trying her best, that she still thinks is not enough, only to match your energy, you get to evolve and bloom to a new a new person, you flourish with her efforts because she makes your life easy when she does not let you worry about anything while she stays as she is, always worried about the same things over and over again.

She is not a permanent person, you get tired of her eventually, someday you decide it is time for you to look for excitement, for someone who challenges you and shows you different aspects of themselves, as true as they are. She is only a passenger.

A permanent passenger.